Is there anything worse than the person you have spent all your time falling in love with revealing that they do not love you back? Yeah, unrequited love sucks. But move past the pain, and you may find that there is more to take away from unrequited love than you expected. Unrequited love is when one person has developed romantic feelings for someone else, who does not feel the same. Basically, you’ve been “friend-zoned,” and the love you are giving is not being reciprocated whatsoever. It’s harsh, but it is something that happens all the time.
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There are many different situations that would be considered unrequited love (VeryWellMind). Whether you are falling for someone who does not feel the same, trying to pursue someone who is already in a relationship, still having lingering feelings towards a past partner, or are in the sticky situation of a mutual attraction between two people who are already in relationships of their own — it’s all unrequited love. There are many reasons why you can end up in these situations as well. One may be that you are “longing for physical touch” (VeryWellMind). If you are reaching out to someone for physical contact and that person is resisting your advances, this is unrequited love. You may also be putting the person on a pedestal (VeryWellMind). This is when you perceive someone to be “perfect,” which is a harmful view to have. When you believe someone is perfect, you are looking at one part of that person and ignoring everything else. These are not healthy ways to love someone, especially when none of these feelings and advances are being reciprocated. With that being said, it can be easy to fall into unrequited love, and more often than not, there will be heartbreak that follows.
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Here are some tips to help deal with the aftermath of heartbreak:
Take some time for yourself. You should take some time to grieve.
Have a night in. Pamper yourself, put on a face mask, light some candles, play a video game, listen to your favorite music, have some friends over — whatever it is that will distract you and cheer you up for the night. Also, it never hurts to watch a rom-com that will help you believe love still exists, even after you’ve been through the nightmare that is unrequited love.
Accept the rejection. After giving yourself some time to process the unreturned love, try to accept what has happened. Once you do, you will feel much better about moving on.
Think about your previous patterns of relationship (VeryWellMind). I think it’s easy to understand why you wouldn’t want to go through this again. Try to find the patterns that lead you to the unrequited love, and make sure they do not repeat themselves.
Go on a date! The first step in moving on is starting over. Whether it’s someone you’ve been interested in before, someone from a dating app, or a potential lover who has fallen into your lap, take your chance!
If you are struggling after a breakup, you can additionally reach out to a professional for guidance.
BetterHelp Online Therapy (online therapy via phone, video, or live chat)
TeenCounseling (online therapy for teens)
Pride Counseling (online therapy for LGBTQ+ teens)
For the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, call 800-273-8255
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The tragedy of unreturned love brings heartbreak but can also teach you some lessons through the pain. An important, perhaps the most important, one to learn is to love the one person who will always be there — yourself. Instead of relying on another person to bring love into your life, look in the mirror instead. You know yourself better than anyone else, so why pressure yourself to look anywhere else? Unrequited love will also give you a reality check on your dating life. No one can control how they feel or whom they are drawn to. Love is such a mysterious feeling, and while being rejected is scary, it’s better to have clarity. The heartbreak you feel will also teach you the art of healing and growing. Learning how to pick yourself back up is important in living life. Mistakes will happen, lovers will come and go, and there will be rejections — but at least you will now have experience in it.
Unrequited love will always be a thorn in the rose of life. Every heartbreak hurts, no matter what it’s over. If you ever experience heartbreak, take care of yourself.